My Books
Transforming the Shame Triangle
Coming out October 31st, 2025
A practical, accessible primer on using parts work to transform shame and self-criticism to authenticity and integrity.
Trauma, attachment wounds and external criticism can leave us battling a sense of shame and inadequacy that can keep us from thriving personally and in relationships. In Transforming the Shame Triangle, integrative therapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley use a synthesis of Internal Family Systems and Narrative Process to identify the three parts that they identify as the greatest barriers to achieving the life we want.
The Inner Critic, Shame and the Escaper are players in an internalized drama triangle, acting as perpetrator, victim and rescuer. Together, they create the Shame Triangle, which can trap us in ineective survival strategies that prevent us from embracing and expressing our true selves.
Through practical exercises and accessible explanations, readers are guided to shi from a state of self-critique to one of self-support—transforming the Shame Triangle to a love triangle. Using parts work, Fern and Cooley open a path to healing and transformation, building a foundation of authenticity and integrity in self and connections, and ultimately creating a more fulfilling life.
polysecure
Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.
Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide. It provides nonmonogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory.
the polysecure workbook
The Polysecure Workbook encourages examination of any attachment challenges you may have experienced in your opening up process and offers insights into how to build secure relationships. Through practical exercises, you will explore your own attachment history, examine your reasons for practicing nonmonogamy and the different styles of nonmonogamy that you relate to, and consider whether you rely on relationship structure for your attachment security. The Polysecure Workbook provides the tools needed to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships and to build personal security.
polywise
As polyamory continues to make its way into the mainstream, more and more people are exploring consensual nonmonogamy in the hope of experiencing more love, connection, sex, freedom and support. While for many, the move expands personal horizons, for others, the transition can be challenging, leaving them blindsided and overwhelmed. Beyond the initial transition to nonmonogamy, many struggle with the root issues beneath the symptoms of broken agreements, communication challenges, increased fighting and persistent jealousy.
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley share the insights they have gained through thousands of hours working with clients in consensually nonmonogamous relationships. Using a grounded theory approach, they explore the underlying challenges that nonmonogamous individuals and partners can experience after their first steps, offering practical strategies for transforming them into opportunities for new levels of clarity and intimacy. Polywise provides both the conceptual framework to better understand the shift from monogamy to nonmonogamy and the tools to navigate the next steps.